| But mommy, you said…” |
| When my son Randy was 4 years old he invited a neighborhood friend to play. My wife admonished the boys to take “one toy out at a time”. My son agreed, but when my wife returned, to her dismay all of Randy’s toys were scattered all over the room. |
| Randy, noticing my wife’s obvious displeasure, quickly protested his innocence by proclaiming “but mommy, you said to take one toy out at a time, and that’s what we did!” Clearly my wife was disarmed by this remark, since the boys had followed her instructions literally and taken every toy out…one at a time! She had neglected to instruct the boys to replace each toy before taking the next one out |
| Doesn’t this story ring a bell with you? How often do you encounter that your spouse, colleague or employee totally misconstrues what you are saying? Unfortunately, often this “crossing of wires” is only discovered after the damage is done. We tend to leave the obvious out, as in the story above, assuming that it is equally obvious to the listener; but that is not always the case. |
| Yo u ha ve he ard the ph ras e “it’ s not wh at he sai d, but the wa y he sai d it”. So me tim es a sin gle on e- syl lab le wo rd or a voi ce infl ect ion ca n im par t a tot all y diff er ent me ani ng to the list en er. |
| In fac t, on e of the pr ov en list eni ng ski lls is to par ap hra se wh at the sp ea ker is sa yin g to as sur e pr op er un de rst an din g. As a sp ea ker , it is als o es se nti al to as sur e un de rst an din g of yo ur qu est ion , sta te me nt or re qu est . Yo u sh oul d re qu est tha t the list en ers ex pr es s the ir un de rst an din g wh at yo u are try ing to co m mu nic ate by re pe ati ng in the ir ow n wo rds . |
| Thi s giv es the sp ea ker a ch an ce to cor rec t an y mi sin ter pr eta tio ns an d pr ev ent an y mi sc om mu nic ati on err ors bef or e the y ca n do an y da ma ge. Thi s ext ra car e in as sur ing go od co m mu nic ati on s als o hel ps bui ld rap po rt bet we en sp ea ker an d list en er. As a list en er tak e go od not es an d us e the act of tak ing the se not es as the pr ete xt to as k the sp ea ker to re pe at or cla rif y an y sta te me nts . |
| Wh en iss uin g or de rs or ma kin g re qu est s, yo u sh oul d as k yo urs elf the foll ow ing : |
| · Ar e yo u inc lud ing in yo ur re qu est all ne ed ed inf or ma tio n? |
| · Ar e yo u tak ing int o ac co unt the cul tur al ba ck gr ou nd of the list en er ? |
| · Ha ve yo u cle arl y sta ted an y tim e co nst rai nts ? |
| · Is the im po rta nc e, or ur ge nc y, of yo ur re qu est cle arl y sta ted ? |
| Al wa ys loo k at thi ng s fro m yo ur list en er’ s va nta ge poi nt an d yo u wil l dra ma tic all y im pr ov e yo ur co m mu nic ati on s. |
| Au tho re d by : En riq ue Be ker ma n, Qu alit y Ma nuf act uri ng As so cia tes . Fe br uar y, 20 03. All rig hts res er ve d. |
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| em ail: qm a1 09 @ ya ho o.c om |
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